Bitch Slap

Bitch Slap
Rick Jacobson co-wrote and directed this strange movie that in so many ways could easily be rated a 1/10 but in so many other ways could be a 10/10, depending on what keeps you happy. I am going slap bang in the middle.Essentially, it's a catfight that lasts for about 100 minutes with Trixie (the gorgeous Julia Voth), Hel (the lovely Erin Cummings) and Camero (the annoying America Olivo) all squabbling as they try to uncover the location of some stolen goods. There is a little bit more to it than that, though nothing unpredictable, and there are a few more names in the cast (including small roles for Kevin Sorbo and Lucy Lawless) but, let's be honest, this movie is all about the three leading ladies.The dialogue is like something written by someone who wants to show themselves off as a blend of Frank Miller and Quentin Tarantino but who, unfortunately, hasn't quite hit puberty yet and so gets it so very, very wrong. The same can be said of the soundtrack choices although, somehow, some of it works well considering the level of the imagery on display.The acting is almost laughably bad in places. Olivo, with her eye-rolling and constant snarling, is the worst offender but Cummings isn't too far behind her. Thanks to her character, and the ditzy cutie vibe she has, Julia Voth comes out of things the best.But let's get to the big plus of this movie. The main selling point. Shallow and base as it is, this film is about breasts. The camera almost seems reluctant to give us a head shot of the leading ladies when it can dwell below the neck area and keep a heaving bosom on display. Which is, in a really juvenile way, kind of brilliant. It's just a shame that the movie veers between the gleefully excessive and the surprisingly tame. We get to see lots of cleavage but not much actual nudity (and none at all from the three leads), we get some crazy violence but most of it is either cut away from or overlaid with so much CGI that it's almost cartoonish anyway.There's also the look of the thing, those who dislike the artificiality offered by fare such as Sin City will dislike the stylised look of this movie. It's fun in places but always feels so false that you never stay in the bizarre environment the movie wants you to inhabit.Overall, this is fun fun fun for those who can enjoy someone dealing in lowest common denominator, exploitative fare. It has a sense of humour and self-awareness but that can't make up for it's obvious failings. For those wanting something actually worth watching with decent acting and a storyline you care about I would advise you to look elsewhere.See this if you like: Sin City, Death Proof, Charlie's Angels.